A Message for my Brothers & Sisters in Christ dealing with Depression and Suicide



This morning I sensed an urgency to pray for someone battling a spirit of suicide and depression. I felt like this person was a fellow believer in Christ, but somewhere along the way they had forgotten what all He had done for them. I may not know what God has personally brought you through, but I know what He’s done for me, and how He’s delivered me from a spirit of depression, self-hatred, and suicide.

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

John 10:10 NLT

I don’t know what your current situation is, or what hardships you may be facing, but I KNOW that God has a purpose for you. His plans are for good and not evil. He wants you to prosper.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

The Holy Spirit reminded me of Ebenezer in the Bible—this is not Ebenezer Scrooge. (But that may help you to remember it! 😉😂) Ebenezer is a rock—a monument set up to remind people what God had done for them.

What has God already done for you?

It can be easy to forget, but I want you to know it’s time to remind yourself.

“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.”

Revelation 12:11 KJV

Did you catch that? ..the WORD of their testimony.

Testify. Do it publicly. Not only to remind yourself of Gods mercies, but also to silence those thoughts you’ve been having.

“…For the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness for Jesus. ””

Revelation 19:10 NLT

This means when we testify to what God has done for us, we release a spirit of prophecy that He will do it for others.

So maybe this message (if that’s what you want to call it) is not for you. Maybe you’re not the one who is walking through the fire. You still can testify to what Jesus has done for you and release the spirit of prophecy over the person (or people) who do need it!

Do me solid-share this and post your personal testimony. Raise your Ebenezer. I don’t care about likes, etc. I just know the more people that see this, the more likely that the person (or people) that need it most will see it.

Let’s pray.

(Read out loud if you really need set free)

Spirit of suicide—I’m coming after you. I cancel the assignment of the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy my life in Jesus, Mighty name! I break every generational curse of depression in Jesus name. I renounce every word curse of suicide and depression, wether known or unknown, in the name of Jesus and I come out of agreement with the spirit of self hatred and depression in Jesus name! I take every idle thought captive in the name of Jesus! Thank You, Jesus, for the Blood of the Lamb that has bought my freedom!



The Shield of Faith


“In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.”

Ephesians 6:16 NLT

Firey arrows… just THINKING about being bombarded with firey arrows makes me feel anxious. However, that’s what many of us see every single day. Firey arrows aimed directly at us, our families, our friends, our children. Maybe it’s a diagnosis. Maybe it’s the pressure of a toxic work environment. Maybe it’s losing someone who is very dear to you. Whatever direction they’re coming from, they certainly are creating a lot of damage and chaos. It doesn’t help that they set everything on fire all around you and you can feel the intensity of the heat from the flames.

Ephesians 6 tells us to put on every piece of God’s armor, but I want to focus right now on the Shield of Faith.

When I think of a shield used by the Roman soldiers-that’s a pretty heavy piece of equipment! I would imagine it would get rather tiresome having to carry that thing around all the time, but if I were to get caught in a storm of firey darts, I definitely wouldn’t want to go without it. The purpose of a shield is to block something dangerous from hitting you. You have to hide behind it. If you’re in battle and there are firey darts all around you, you had better use that shield!

If you have been born again, Christ has placed you in a position of victory. (1 John 5:4) Your job in battle is to stand firm.

Ephesians 6:13-14 NLT

“…Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.”

We must stand firm to maintain our position of victory. At times we will need to fight to maintain our position as well. However, since we’re focusing on the shield of faith, we will focus on standing firm.

(If I ever get around to doing something like this on the Sword of the Spirit, then we can discuss maintaining our position of victory by engaging in battle.)

So, how do we stand firm in our position of victory in Christ? What happens if we aren’t able to stand firm?

Ephesians 6:12 says we aren’t fighting a battle in the natural. Our battlefield is in the spirit realm. It is a tactic of the enemy to overwhelm us with firey arrows. After all, the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Out of self preservation we instinctively want to retreat, which is exactly what the enemy ultimately wants us to do. If we retreat, we lose our position. We get knocked out of our position of victory and into a position of defeat. In other words, we become prisoners of war on the enemies territory.

The only way to stand firm in an attack of fiery darts is to use our shield of faith. When you became born again, you not only were drafted as a soldier for the Kingdom, but also you were given all the armor of God. Many of us are marching through battle carrying our armor instead of wearing it. Ephesians 6 tells us to PUT ON the full armor so we can stand firm. It’s not enough just to possess the armor, we have to utilize it.

God gives us the shield of faith specifically to protect us from an assault of firey arrows. We have to hide ourselves behind it. Any part of us that is exposed could be subject to a fatal blow. Often in battle we are pushed or forced back. In order to maintain our position we must move forward. Imagine a treadmill, if you will. We have to move forward with the same force that we are being pushed back. Otherwise we are thrown out of our position.

So at times, we move forward in order to stand firm in victory. We have to do this while covering ourselves with our shield, but how can we move forward when we can’t see what’s ahead from behind our shield?

2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV

“(for we walk by faith, not by sight:)”

The truth is, the shield of faith blocks us from seeing what’s happening in the natural. We are not moving blindly. Unlike a shield in the natural, we actually will still see in front of us. We see in the the spirit. I have a mental image of someone holding an open Bible over their eyes. We are aware of the chaos around us, but our focus is on the Word, not the world—it’s a Kingdom focus. We are able to move forward and not retreat because we are seeing what’s eternal in the spirit and not momentary in the natural. We are aware of what’s happening around us, but it’s not our focus.

So what happens if the battle continues for a long time and we grow weary? As I mentioned earlier, the Roman shield is a hefty piece of equipment. I would imagine in an attack, your arms would grow tired. You may be tempted to peek over the shield and see what’s happening. This is how we become overwhelmed and retreat. When we focus on what’s being thrown at us from every direction in the natural, we, understandably, become anxious. We risk losing our position of victory by lowering our shield.

What if we’ve become too weak to continue to hold up our shield? How can we preserve our strength?

Well, for starters, if we can resist the temptation to spy what’s happening in the natural we will better maintain our strength. This is because we will be laser focused on Gods promises in His Word. One of the enemies tactics is to keep us from spending time in Gods Word. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to make time to shield our eyes with the Word.

Another strategy the enemy uses to get us to lower our shield is by what we listen to. We are very aware of the firey madness around us. We can hear what’s going on. We may hear others in total panic. The sound of some of our fellow soldiers shouting to retreat, can be terrifying. It may persuade us to peek over our shield and follow suit. That’s why it’s so important that we keep our eyes on His Word.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

John 10:27 NLT

We have to know His voice. We have to listen to the still, small voice over the loud shouting of the enemy. We can overcome the enemy shouting in our ear by using the Sword of the Spirit, which is the spoken Word of God. This will help us not to become weary or give in to lowering our shield.

What do we do if we’ve already lowered our shield? How can we, then, find the strength to raise it back up?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT

“9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

There is strength in numbers, my friend. Another tactic of the enemy is isolation. Satan wants us to think we are alone in the fight. When we become overwhelmed with blow after firey blow (another strategy of the enemy is to wear down the saints) it can be difficult to preserve our faith. Satan wants us to feel alone and overwhelmed. If he can make us too ashamed to reach out for help when we’re struggling, then we’re much more likely to fall back out of our position. The devil knows there is strength in numbers, as well. So he uses these tactics to keep us isolated.

“Each one of you will put to flight a thousand of the enemy, for the Lord your God fights for you, just as he has promised.”

Joshua 23:10 NLT

“How could one person chase a thousand of them, and two people put ten thousand to flight…”

Deuteronomy 32:30 NLT

When our arms have grown tired and we find ourselves at the point of retreat, we need to reach out. We are much stronger together than we are alone.

The Lord gave me a vision of a soldier treading through fire. The soldier was hiding behind his shield, being protected from the flames. Then the soldier fell to his knees. It took all his strength to continue to hold up his shield. He had become too exhausted to carry on. Then I saw 2 other soldiers who had already made it through the battle do the unthinkable. They looked back into the disarray of fire. They weren’t looking back to focus on the utter destruction. They were looking for fellow soldiers. Then I saw the 2 soldiers go back into the fire. They braved the firey arrows again to bring out their fellow soldier. They didn’t carry him out. They helped him lift his shield and walk through the battle to safety.

It is our job as Kingdom warriors to help our fellow soldiers that have fallen into enemy territory back into their position of victory.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

Proverbs 27:17 NLT

The Bible teaches us that we overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. (Revelation 12:11) So if you’ve become too spent to continue lifting your shield through battle, you can overcome by reminding yourself of what God has already brought you through; and for those that have already made it out of the fire, we can help others out by the word of our testimony as well. We help lift up their shield of faith by testifying how God brought us out of the same battle.

Revelation 19:10 KJV

“…..for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”

Therefore, when we testify of how Jesus overcame and how we also overcame because of His blood, we are building faith in those that are still out in the battlefield. We are unleashing the spirit of prophecy over them. What battles God has brought me through, He will also bring you through.

Perhaps you’ve not been equipped with Gods armor. You can’t dress yourself in something you don’t possess. I have good news—though the battle is raging, the war has already been won. Jesus made a way for you at the cross. He was the ultimate sacrifice and His blood covers all our transgressions.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Romans 8:1-2 NLT

Will you enlist to fight in a war that Jesus already won? We don’t fight to win the victory. We fight to maintain our position of victory. We fight because our brothers and sisters are still slaves to the power of sin, which leads to death. We fight because we love. We fight because He first loved us.

Will you give your heart to Jesus and fight the good fight?

Romans 10:9-10 ESV

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”

If you believe Jesus raised from the dead and He is Lord, and you confess it with your mouth, then, congratulations, my friend! God has drafted you into the Kingdom army. You have been moved into a position of victory. Not only are you now fully equipped with the Armor of God, but you have also become a temple of the Holy Spirit! Every promise in scripture now pertains to you! I encourage you to find a good church family and sit under solid teaching so you can grow stronger in your faith. Dive deep into the scriptures so you can really know the Father!

Congratulations, my now forever friend! We’ll fight together. ❤️

A Mother’s Anxiety

After I became a mother, I had terrible postpartum anxiety. I would refuse sleep, although I was already very sleep deprived. I was terrified something would happen to my daughter while I slept. The heaviness of being responsible for another human life was crippling for me.

While receiving Godly council, I realized that I had put the responsibility of God on my own shoulders. God assigned me the task of raising a child. I may have given birth to her, but He is the One Who knit her together in my womb. (Psalm 139:13) I am not responsible for each and every breath that enters and exits her lungs, but He is; and as much as I love her, His love for her is greater!

When we try to provide every single need for others, we, instead, take the place of Jesus. This causes 2 problems: 1. Those that we overextend ourselves to become reliant on us, rather than God. 2. We become overwhelmed because we are carrying the weight of things beyond our control. Essentially, we are telling God, “I don’t trust You to take care of this.”

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”—Isaiah 26:3 NLT


Father, I’m sorry for not trusting You. I repent for not having enough confidence in You to give You full control. You are God. I am not. I take the weight of the world off my shoulders, and I give it back to You. I no longer hold myself accountable for things that are out of my hands. All power and authority belongs to You! I thank You, Lord, for now giving me perfect peace! You are good and I put my trust in You.


GOD is my Banner

Jehovah Nissi

GOD is my Banner

I always thought that throughout history the musicians were the 1st to march out in battle—the snare keeping pace and fife giving commands. The worshippers went before the army in 2 Chronicles. However, I’ve recently discovered that manytimes there’s been someone who marched out even before the musicians: The Color Guard.

The color guard serves several purposes—

Location: where the troops are headed, so they don’t get lost in the chaos.

Identification: who is friend and who is foe.

Pride: your flag represents your homeland. You defend it with your life.

But there’s one main purpose of the color guard that I want to focus on..


Jehovah Nissi— GOD is my BANNER!

God is my banner. God is my flag. My identity is found in Him. My homeland is the Kingdom.

Last night the kiddos from our church helped lead us in our 1st song in worship. They danced and praised with colorful scarves.

They may not realize the depth of their praise, but waving these scarves (flags) is a way of prophetically declaring that their identity is found in God alone!

No other flag or banner—red, white & blue, rainbow, etc.—can they find their true identity in, except for Jehovah Nissi!

It’s more clear to me than ever that the enemy is out to steal our identity, especially in our children.

I want to encourage you, parents. Teach your children who they are in Christ. Their identity isn’t what they do. It’s not what their talents are or what they fall short in. Remind them if they feel like they don’t belong here, it’s because they belong to the Kingdom. Pray over them. Speak life and truth into them. Make sure they hear the Truth from you first, before they become deceived by the ‘truths’ of this world.

1 Peter 2:9 NIV

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Proverbs 22:6 AMP

“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Exodus 17:15 NLT

“Moses built an altar there and named it Yahweh-Nissi (which means “the Lord is my banner”).”

Matthew 19:14 CEV

“But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and don’t try to stop them! People who are like these children belong to God’s kingdom.”

I Die in His Presence

There was a point in my life, after after returning to the Lord, that I began to worship once again with more fervency. When my baby girl would fall asleep for the night, I would spend the late hours of the night in worship. Yet, for the longest time, I would have this strange feeling. I would press into His presence, but once I would get to a certain point, I was always gripped with an intense sensation of death. I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to push past it. The feeling was so strong, however, that I would have to succumb to it out of self-preservation.

There was this loud voice in my mind- If I come any closer, I’m going to die. I didn’t understand. It was more than a thought or emotion. It was physical. I could feel it in my body. Death was imminent if I continued.

I finally had the revelation that I could simply just ask the Holy Spirit why this was happening. (Thank God for His patience, because sometimes I can be a little slow. 😂) So that’s what I did, and He wasted no time in answering my question— “That’s the point.”

Right away, I understood exactly what He meant. “That’s the point.” I die in His presence.

I still had some things inside of me from my time in the world as a prodigals daughter. There were things that still needed to die. It was clear, nonetheless, that those things within me didn’t want to die.

Self-preservation.. that’s exactly what was happening.

“And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.”

Revelation 12:11 NLT

I was still holding on to what was left of MY life. I was preserving myself. There was a part of me that, even then, loved MY life.

That scripture goes so much farther than just being willing to die a physical death for Christ. Are you willing to lay down your life, and die to YOURSELF? Are you willing to love Christ more than your life? More than your job? Your home? Your friends? Your hobbies? The music you listen to? The shows you watch? The books you read? The jokes you tell? The number of social media followers you have? Do you love Him more than your own family?

“If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.”

Luke 14:26 NLT

Notice, we don’t hate others. We love Jesus so much more, that by comparison, the difference is as far apart as love is from hate.

“If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.”

Matthew 10:37 NLT

Will you still follow Christ if it means you had to watch your children die because of your faith? Things like this are happening in the world RIGHT NOW. Jesus very plainly tells us that if we love our children more than Him, we aren’t worthy to be called His disciples. I pray no one has to endure this kind of persecution while on earth, but I would be jaded if I didn’t acknowledge the fact that it DOES happen.

Let this be our prayer:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

Psalms 139:23-24 NLT

May we never have to experience that kind of heartache for the Kingdom, but if we do, search our hearts, God! So that we may stand for You! For we know that any pain we endure in this life is only for a moment, but You are forever! Your Kingdom is forever!

“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

Matthew 10:39 NLT

This doesn’t mean that we have to physically die for Christ in order to find life. What it does mean is that we have to die to live in Him. We have to die to our own wants and desires. We have to die to our motives, to our ambitions. We have to lay down everything that is our own. In turn, He will give us things that are so much greater! I promise, it’s worth it. He’s worth it!

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”

Psalms 37:4 NLT

When we die to self and give up our own desires, Christ fills our hearts with His desires. He won’t remove them Himself. We have to lay it all down by choice. Everything. Our hearts are sick and wicked. They deceive us at every turn. If we follow our own desires we may gain success, fame and fortune for a while, but what we lose is eternal. That is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 10:39 (referenced earlier).

I say all this to help us understand what the Holy Spirit revealed to me in my own time of Worship with the Lord—

“That’s the point.”

Holy is not just what God is, it’s WHO HE IS. In Old Testament times, people would literally drop dead if they came into Gods presence. Nothing that is anything less than Holy can survive in His presence.

That is.. until Jesus made a way.

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ….Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us.”

Ephesians 2:13 & 18 NLT

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom]. And we all, with unveiled face, continually seeing as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are progressively being transformed into His image from [one degree of] glory to [even more] glory, which comes from the Lord, [who is] the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 AMP

What I’m trying to communicate to you though scripture is that, simply put, we now can come into the Father’s Holy presence because of the blood of Jesus. God sees us as the finished work—our eternal spirit, not the work-in-progress that we currently are, because we come into His presence covered by the blood of Jesus.

Therefore, we can enter into the Holy of Holies without shame because being in His presence makes us become more like Him.

He purifies us.

When we gaze into His eyes of fire, they burn us from the inside out, refining us.

“That’s the point.”

We die in His presence.

Father, thank You for sending Your Son for me. Thank You for loving me enough to sacrifice Your Own Son in order to make a way for me to be close to You. Thank You for changing me in Your presence! You love me enough to correct me. Help me to die better for You. Your ways are better! Your Kingdom is eternal. Expose in me anything that’s not like You. Purify me. I’m Yours—Forever.